Greetings on this first Friday in June. The moon is full and the environment around here now is very green. Well, we are a state of lots of mountains and it’s green and thus, we are the state of Green Mountains, les montagnes vertes. Ver-mont.
It’s Fri-Day and so you can fry some fish to eat.
This Sunday is our church’s annual Flower Communion Sunday and I plan on having some of my blooming Rhododendran flowers next to me on our zoom service.
Thursday this week was a monumental day. It was Dianne’s first day on the golf course. Due to the time it took us to move that little white ball down the fairway, during the 9 holes that we played, we had to let 4 groups behind us play through. Oh well, you have to start some time. She did very well for the first time out. Just like her ping pong game, I say that “she has potential”!
The weather and temperatures here are up and down. Not much recent rain, and temperatures have been up and down. I turned off my furnace last week when it hit 90 outside. And on Tuesday morning it was only 42 F outside and 59 inside. Brrrr. But I resisted the temptation to turn on the furnace. Tough Vermonter, that I am.
We had a zoom meeting with our former WFP Executive Director on June 1st, with about 30 former colleagues and friends in attendance. That was nice to see old friends and hear what they are doing in their retirement.
I’m running out of material and need you all to send me some things to use.
Let’s see if I have some things to share with you today.
Hello … I know you have some time on your hands … so I thought I would ask you a few questions …
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages … aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Do Lipton Tea employees take 'coffee breaks?'
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use, Toothpicks?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
Is it true that you never really learn to swear until you learn to drive?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
Why, Why, Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee due to insufficient funds; when they already know you're broke?
Why is it that when someone tells you that there are one billion stars in the universe you believe them,
but if they tell you there is wet paint you have to touch it to check?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose cruel idea was it to put an "s" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that, no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people run over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it and then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
How do those dead bugs get into the enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Why, in winter, do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
And A FAVORITE:
The statistics on sanity say that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness.
Think of your three best friends.
If they're OK..? (then it's you!)
Why, Why, Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee due to insufficient funds; when they already know you're broke?
Why is it that when someone tells you that there are one billion stars in the universe you believe them,
but if they tell you there is wet paint you have to touch it to check?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose cruel idea was it to put an "s" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that, no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people run over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it and then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
How do those dead bugs get into the enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Why, in winter, do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
And A FAVORITE:
The statistics on sanity say that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness.
Think of your three best friends.
If they're OK..? (then it's you!)
REMEMBER, A day without a smile is like a day without sunshine … and a day without sunshine is, like ... night!!!!
* * * * * * * *
More Ponderings
1. If poison passes its expiration date, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous ?
2. Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?
3. Do twins ever realize that at least one of them is unplanned?
4. Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V?
5. Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work.
6. Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.
7. The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims"
8. 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars.. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
Six great confusions still unresolved.
1. At a movie theater, which arm rest is yours?
2. If people evolved from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?
3. Why is there a 'D' in fridge, but not in refrigerator?
Vagaries of English Language!
Ever wonder why the word funeral starts with FUN?
Why isn't a Fireman called a Water-man?
How come Lipstick doesn't do what it says?
Why are goods sent by ship called CARGO and those sent by truck SHIPMENT?
Why is it called 'Rush Hour' when traffic moves at its slowest then?
Why do they call it a TV 'set' when there is only one?
Did you know that if you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to each of them.
4. Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V?
5. Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work.
6. Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.
7. The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims"
8. 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars.. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
Six great confusions still unresolved.
1. At a movie theater, which arm rest is yours?
2. If people evolved from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?
3. Why is there a 'D' in fridge, but not in refrigerator?
Vagaries of English Language!
Ever wonder why the word funeral starts with FUN?
Why isn't a Fireman called a Water-man?
How come Lipstick doesn't do what it says?
Why are goods sent by ship called CARGO and those sent by truck SHIPMENT?
Why is it called 'Rush Hour' when traffic moves at its slowest then?
Why do they call it a TV 'set' when there is only one?
Did you know that if you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to each of them.
* * * * * * * *
Old Ed
It happened every Friday evening, almost without fail, when the sun resembled a giant orange and was starting to dip into the blue ocean.
Old Ed came strolling along the beach to his favorite pier. Clutched in his bony hand was a bucket of shrimp. Ed walks out to the end of the pier, where it seems he almost has the world to himself. The glow of the sun is a golden bronze now. Everybody's gone, except for a few joggers on the beach. Standing out on the end of the pier, Ed is alone with his thoughts...and his bucket of shrimp. Before long, however, he is no longer alone. Up in the sky a thousand white dots come screeching and squawking, winging their way toward that lanky frame standing there on the end of the pier.
Before long, dozens of seagulls have enveloped him, their wings fluttering and flapping wildly. Ed stands there tossing shrimp to the hungry birds. As he does, if you listen closely, you can hear him say with a smile, 'Thank you. Thank you.’ In a few short minutes the bucket is empty. But Ed doesn't leave. He stands there lost in thought, as though transported to another time and place.
When he finally turns around and begins to walk back toward the beach, a few of the birds hop along the pier with him until he gets to the stairs, and then they, too, fly away. And old Ed quietly makes his way down to the end of the beach and on home.
If you were sitting there on the pier with your fishing line in the water, Ed might seem like 'a funny old duck,' as my dad used to say. Or, to onlookers, he's just another old codger, lost in his own weird world, feeding the seagulls with a bucket full of shrimp. To the onlooker, rituals can look either very strange or very empty. They can seem altogether unimportant ... Maybe even a lot of nonsense. Old folks often do strange things, At least in the eyes of Boomers and Busters. Most of them would probably write Old Ed off, down there in Florida. That's too bad. They'd do well to know him better.
His full name: Eddie Rickenbacker. He was a famous hero in World War I, and then he was in WWII. On one of his flying missions across the Pacific, he and his seven-member crew went down. Miraculously, all of the men survived, crawled out of their plane, and climbed into a life raft. Captain Rickenbacker and his crew floated for days on the rough waters of the Pacific. They fought the sun. They fought sharks. Most of all, they fought hunger and thirst. By the eighth day their rations ran out. No food. No water. They were hundreds of miles from land and no one knew where they were or even if they were alive. Every day across America millions wondered and prayed that Eddie Rickenbacker might somehow be found alive. The men adrift needed a miracle. That afternoon they had a simple devotional service and prayed for a miracle. They tried to nap. Eddie leaned back and pulled his military cap over his nose. Time dragged on. All he could hear was the slap of the waves against the raft... Suddenly, Eddie felt something land on the top of his cap. It was a seagull!
Old Ed would later describe how he sat perfectly still, planning his next move. With a flash of his hand and a squawk from the gull, he managed to grab it and wring its neck. He tore the feathers off, and he and his starving crew made a meal of it - a very slight meal for eight men. Then they used the intestines for bait. With it, they caught fish, which gave them food and more bait . . . And the cycle continued. With that simple survival technique, they were able to endure the rigors of the sea until they were found and rescued after 24 days at sea.
Eddie Rickenbacker lived many years beyond that ordeal, but he never forgot the sacrifice of that first life-saving seagull... And he never stopped saying, 'Thank you.' That's why almost every Friday night he would walk to the end of the pier with a bucket full of shrimp and a heart full of gratitude.
Reference: (Max Lucado, "In The Eye of the Storm", pp..221, 225-226)
PS: Eddie Rickenbacker was the founder of Eastern Airlines. Before WWI he was race car driver. In WWI he was a pilot and became America 's first ace. In WWII he was an instructor and military adviser, and he flew missions with the combat pilots. Eddie Rickenbacker is a true American hero. And now you know another story about the trials and sacrifices that brave men have endured for your freedom.
It is a great story that many don't know... You've got to be careful with old guys; You just never know what they have done during their lifetime.
* * * *
Okay. It’s time for this week’s TGIF Golden Classic.
The Young Castaway
A young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean.
But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her.
"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy.”
With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy, the woman accepted. That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine, and make love to her until dawn. Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.
"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy.
"I see," the captain says.
Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me.”
"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Staten Island Ferry."
* * * * * * * *
Some of you may groan; but I always loved that joke. (I’m not going to imply that she was a blonde, but, ….)
I hope that our country can rally to get things together to address our racist history and make some advances in this area.
We need to have a government that brings us to together, instead of dividing us.
We need to have a government that brings us to together, instead of dividing us.
Enjoy this time of gradually opening up. Get outdoors and exercise and breathe.
Until the next time.
TGI-Jeff
