Greetings on this last Friday of the month of July! I had a good streak going for 3 consecutive TGIF issues this month until last week. I think, though, that I have a pretty good excuse this time. About the time that I normally start putting together, or finalize, a TGIF message on an early Thursday evening, I started feeling ill and started to have a sharp pain in my lower abdomen. It gradually got worse and during the night, the pain intensified. Dianne kept suggesting we go to the hospital, and I kept delaying. Finally, I gave in and we went to the Emergency Room. A few hours later, after several tests, they revealed it was “acute appendicitis”. Long story short, I was operated on a little after noon on last Friday and spent the night in the hospital. It had been highly inflamed and perforated and so, I guess they dealt with it just in time, using laparoscopic surgery. There was a concern of a blood infection, but when there was none, 24 hours later and being on antibiotic drips for 24 hours, they released me to home for my continued recovery. Now, how was that for an excuse?!
So, I’m back with a vengeance this week! It looks like a full issue thanks to some of my frequent contributors, like Debba, Tim and Peter.
The Women’s World Cup (football/soccer) is underway, and I’ve watched some of the games and viewed highlights of others, online. The hours to watch live here in the USA are not so convenient, given the time differences between east coast America and host nations New Zealand and Australia. For the first time, there are 32 teams competing; so lots of first timers. I was happy to see that the Philippines won a game in their first World Cup. The USA and the Dutch played an even match and Nigeria surprised one of the host nations, Australia. While there may not yet be parity in the women’s game, the weaker teams seem to be gaining on the upper echelon teams. Several teams have a good chance at winning it all.
My early release from the hospital also enabled me to attend Day 2 of the Peace Corps Mali reunion in nearby New Hampshire. It was great seeing so many old friends, many of whom I had not seen in almost 50 years. A good time with lots of good memories and stories.
A few weeks ago, I used a story about a promotional of Carnation Milk back in the day whereby they encouraged happy consumers to write a little jingle about why they loved this product. Well, today I have a similar positive attestation about a commonly used household product: Tide soap powder.
Tide Detergent : Tide Gets the Stains Out!
Dear TIDE,
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have. I have been using it all my married life. My mother told me it was the best.
Now that I am in my fifties, I find it even better. In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was, and generally was becoming a pain in the neck. Well, one thing led to another and eventually somehow some of his blood got on my new white blouse.
I grabble my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out of my white blouse!
In fact, the stains came out so well that the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests that had been done on the blouse were all negative. Then my attorney called and told me that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.
What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having such a great product!
Well, gotta go - - - I have to write to the Hefty Bag people.
Your friend, Velma
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Wanna Be a Doctor?
When I was young I decided to go to medical school. At the entrance exam, we were asked
to rearrange the letters PNEIS and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered SPINE are doctors today, while the rest are on Facebook.
* * * * * * * *
Ageism
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”.
‘About 32,’ is the reply.’
‘Nope! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.
The girl replies, ‘I’d guess about 29.’ The woman replies with a big smile, ‘Nope, I’m 50.’
Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops at a candy shop on her way down the street.
She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the assistant the same burning question.
The clerk responds, ‘Oh, I’d say 30.’
Again she proudly responds, ‘I’m 50, but thank you!’
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, ‘Lady, I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was.
It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.’
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, ‘What the hell, go ahead.’ He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast. After a couple of minutes of this, she says, ‘Okay, okay.....How old am I?’
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, ‘Madam, you are 50.’
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, ‘That was incredible, how could you tell?’
‘I was behind you at McDonald's’.
* * * * * * * *
An atheist was seated next to a dusty old cowboy on an airplane
An atheist was seated next to a dusty old cowboy on an airplane, and he turned to him and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The old cowboy, who had just started to read his book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. “How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?” as he smiled smugly.
“Okay,” he said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”
The atheist, visibly surprised by the old cowboy's intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the cowboy replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don’t know crap?”
* * * * * * * *
I received this a few weeks ago and I immediately cut and pasted it into my TGIF draft file. It gained some personal significance to me, after my hospital ordeal last week.
THE EARTH’S POPULATION STATISTICS PUT IT INTO PERSPECTIVE:
The population of Earth is constantly changing, but it’s around 7.9 billion at this very second.
For most people, this is an unfathomable figure.
However, if we condense that 7.9 billion into 100 persons and then condense it further into various percentage statisticsthe resulting analysis is relatively much easier to comprehend:
Out of 100 people:
11 are in Europe
5 are in North America
9 are in South America
15 are in Africa
60 are in Asia
49 live in the countryside
51 live in cities
75 have mobile phones
25 do not
30 have internet access
70 do not
7 received university education
93 did not attend college
83 can read
17 are illiterate
33 are Christians
22 are Muslims
14 are Hindus
7 are Buddhists
12 other religions
12 have no religious beliefs
26 live less than 14 years
66 died between 15 - 64 years of age
8 are over 65 years old
Think about this -
If you live in your own home, are able to eat full meals & drink clean water, have a mobile phone, can surf the internet and went to college, you are in a miniscule percentage of the population and are a highly privileged person this day.
(This equates to being in the less than 7% category)
Amongst 100 persons in the world - only 8 will live or exceed the age of 65.
If you are already over 65 years old - be content, grateful and thank God; cherish life, grasp every moment.
If you did not leave this world before the age of 64, like the 92 persons who did pass before you,
you are truly blessed amongst mankind. Take good care of your own health.
Cherish every remaining moment.
If you think you are suffering memory loss, it's called anosognosia and gets interesting.
In the following analysis the French Professor Bruno Dubois, Director of the Institute of Memory and Alzheimer's disease (IMMA) at La Pitié-Salpêtrière - Paris Hospitals, addresses the subject in a rather reassuring way:
"If anyone is aware of their memory problems, they do NOT have Alzheimer's."
1 You know you forget names of people;
2 You know you don’t remember where you put some things, but you remember you had them.
This often happens in people 60 years and older and they complain they are losing/lacking their memory. "All information remains in the brain, but the "processor" is lacking."
This is "Anosognosia" or temporary forgetfulness.
Half of people 60 and older have some symptoms due to age rather than disease.
Some of the most common cases are:
- forgetting the name of a person,
- going to a room in the house and not remembering why they were going there,
- forgetting a movie title, actor or actress, and
- searching where we left our glasses or keys.
After 60 years most people have some difficulty, which indicates that it is not a disease but rather a characteristic due to the passage of years.
Many people are concerned about these oversights, hence the importance of the following statements:
1. "Those who are conscious of being forgetful have no serious problem of memory."
2. "Those who suffer from a memory illness or Alzheimer's are not aware of what is happening."
Professor Dubois, reassures the majority of people concerned about their oversights:
"The more we complain about memory loss the less likely we suffer from memory sickness."
* * * * * * * *
So, most of us need to be grateful for what we have. And good health is part of that! I am certainly grateful and will keep a sense of humor about what minor things we may be forgetful about. Have a fantastic Friday and a wonderful weekend. August is just around the corner. Enjoy what’s left of the summer.
We have lots of family gatherings planned for August, starting with the 3-week visit of Joya and Christopher to the US. Phil is coming to NYC to see them there and I’ll join them at Jon and Melissa’s next weekend. We all want to spend time with little Logan. Joya and Chris will then come up to Vermont for several days. We hope to see Jon/Melissa/Logan near Lake George in mid month. The last weekend will be a gathering of the Yelton clan at the lake house. So, we are looking forward to celebrating family this month of August.
TGI-Jeff
