Greetings. TGIT? Yes – Thank God It’s Thanksgiving! And it’s a Thursday! So, either or both ways, it is TGIT!
Besides, why would I want to issue a message on Black Friday!?!?!!!
December, wintry weather arrived here last week, even though it was only mid-November. And it’s going to get very cold in the next days – well below freezing. The only way that I can enjoy this is either to go skiing or to be thankful that I have a nice warm house to spend time in.
In the past 10 days we have received a total of about 8 inches of snow. My Okemo ski area had already started making snow 10 days ago as the temperatures dropped below freezing there on the mountain. The natural snow helps a lot too. Okemo was purchased by Vail last summer and it’s in transition now, with apparently a lot of kinks to get worked out. Today they had 21 trails open and 4 lifts running, which is about 17% of the total. But I did ski today (Wednesday) and that is the first time I ever skied there in November. It took me a few runs to get my confidence up. I also need to get my skis tuned up. I skied for a few hours and as it was getting windy and my legs were tiring, I quit while I was still all in one piece!
Last Sunday our church service was about “Gratitude” and with today, Thursday, November 22nd, as Thanksgiving Day, I realize that I have so much to be thankful for.
While there is a Canadian Thanksgiving (celebrated in early October after the harvest), our US holiday of Thanksgiving is rather unique. When Pam and I lived in Africa or Asia, we enjoyed having some of our international friends over for a Thanksgiving meal (often with turkey, etc.) and it often fell to me to explain the origin of our Thanksgiving Day.
We also lived in several French-speaking countries or had francophone friends and it was fun to try and explain this holiday in French!
But, it became even more fun to do that after I read the column by Art Buchwald, a syndicated journalist who has spent his early years of his long career in Paris. Thanks to Wikipedia, I am pleased to share the following once again with you all!
In November 1952, Buchwald wrote a column in which he attempted to explain the Thanksgiving holiday to the French, using garbled French translations such as "Kilometres Deboutish" for Miles Standish; Buchwald considered it his favorite column, and it was later re-run every Thanksgiving during Buchwald's lifetime.
Le Grande Thanksgiving
By Art Buchwald
This confidential column was leaked to me by a high government official in the Plymouth colony on the condition that I not reveal his name.
One of our most important holidays is Thanksgiving Day, known in France as le Jour de Merci Donnant .
Le Jour de Merci Donnant was first started by a group of Pilgrims ( Pelerins ) who fled from l'Angleterre before the McCarran Act to found a colony in the New World ( le Nouveau Monde ) where they could shoot Indians ( les Peaux-Rouges ) and eat turkey ( dinde ) to their hearts' content.
They landed at a place called Plymouth (now a famous voiture Americaine ) in a wooden sailing ship called the Mayflower (or Fleur de Mai ) in 1620. But while the Pelerins were killing the dindes, the Peaux-Rouges were killing the Pelerins, and there were several hard winters ahead for both of them. The only way the Peaux-Rouges helped the Pelerins was when they taught them to grow corn ( maise ). The reason they did this was because they liked corn with their Pelerins.
In 1623, after another harsh year, the Pelerins' crops were so good that they decided to have a celebration and give thanks because more maise was raised by the Pelerins than Pelerins were killed by Peaux-Rouges.
Every year on the Jour de Merci Donnant, parents tell their children an amusing story about the first celebration.
It concerns a brave capitaine named Miles Standish (known in France as Kilometres Deboutish) and a young, shy lieutenant named Jean Alden. Both of them were in love with a flower of Plymouth called Priscilla Mullens (no translation). The vieux capitaine said to the jeune lieutenant :
"Go to the damsel Priscilla ( allez tres vite chez Priscilla), the loveliest maiden of Plymouth ( la plus jolie demoiselle de Plymouth). Say that a blunt old captain, a man not of words but of action ( un vieux Fanfan la Tulipe ), offers his hand and his heart, the hand and heart of a soldier. Not in these words, you know, but this, in short, is my meaning.
"I am a maker of war ( je suis un fabricant de la guerre ) and not a maker of phrases. You, bred as a scholar ( vous, qui etes pain comme un etudiant ), can say it in elegant language, such as you read in your books of the pleadings and wooings of lovers, such as you think best adapted to win the heart of the maiden."
Although Jean was fit to be tied ( convenable etre emballe ), friendship prevailed over love and he went to his duty. But instead of using elegant language, he blurted out his mission. Priscilla was muted with amazement and sorrow ( rendue muette par l'etonnement et la tristesse ).
At length she exclaimed, interrupting the ominous silence: "If the great captain of Plymouth is so very eager to wed me, why does he not come himself and take the trouble to woo me?" ( Ou est-il, le vieux Kilometres? Pourquoi ne vient-il pas aupres de moi pour tenter sa chance ?)
Jean said that Kilometres Deboutish was very busy and didn't have time for those things. He staggered on, telling what a wonderful husband Kilometres would make. Finally Priscilla arched her eyebrows and said in a tremulous voice, "Why don't you speak for yourself, Jean?" ( Chacun a son gout. )
And so, on the fourth Thursday in November, American families sit down at a large table brimming with tasty dishes and, for the only time during the year, eat better than the French do.
No one can deny that le Jour de Merci Donnant is a grande fete and no matter how well fed American families are, they never forget to give thanks to Kilometres Deboutish, who made this great day possible.
* * * * *
And the day after our Thanksgiving, the first Christmas season shopping day with all kinds of deals has become known as Black Friday!
Black Friday… because only in America people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.
Roe versus Wade
A young woman in her freshman year at UVA sat in her U.S. Government Class. When the professor asked her if she knew what the Roe vs. Wade decision was, she sat there for quite a while pondering this very profound question and finally sighed and said, "I think that is the decision George Washington made prior to crossing the Delaware!"
* * * * *
The Jewish Cab Driver
A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City and laid across the back seat.
The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab.
The woman glared back at him and asked, "What's wrong with you, sweety, haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"
The old Jewish driver answered, "Let me tell you sumsing, lady. I vasn't staring at you like you tink; dat vould not be proper."
The woman giggled and responded, "Well, if you're not staring at my boobs or my butt, sweetie, what are you doing then?"
He paused a moment, then responded, "Vell M'am, I am looking and I am looking, and I am tinking to myself, vair in da hell is dis lady keeping de money to pay for dis ride?"
Now, that's a businessman!
* * * * *
Am I getting to that age?
I found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses. A young lady walked over to me and asked, "What brings you in today? I looked at her and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator." She didn't quite know how to respond.
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.
When people see a cat's litter box they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, "An ambulance.”
The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
Did you ever notice that when you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs?"
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your
age and start bragging about it.
age and start bragging about it.
Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me. I want people to know why I
look this way. I've traveled a long way and a lot of the roads were not paved.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable.
Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.
May you always have:
Love to share,
Cash to spare,
And friends who care.
* * * * *
It’s time for the TGIF Golden Classic:
The Redhead
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant by himself notices a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He's been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
“Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. “Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible! "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman, are you this nice to every guy you meet?
"No," she replies. . . . . “You just happened to catch my eye.”
* * * * *
To all my American friends and family, I wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving!
Eat well and reflect on all that we have to be thankful for!
TGI-Jeff
