Greetings to all my friends on this Friday, which also happens to be World Food Day. Those two are very significant as last Friday morning, I awoke to the news that my former UN agency, the World Food Programme, had been awarded the 2020 Nobel Peace Prize. Wow! Surprising news, but then, upon further reflection, not really. For many years, WFP was a frontline agency providing food assistance to the most vulnerable and food insecure populations of the developing world, without drawing much attention to its work – just doing it!
So, it is indeed nice to see that all that sometimes difficult work has finally been recognized. This honor seems to be shared by both present and past WFP staff members. I worked for WFP from 1978 until mid-2009, and served in 5 countries in Africa and 4 in Asia, as well as one tour in WFP HQ in Rome, Italy.
I have cut and pasted below the clip of “Breaking News” of last Friday morning from the NPR website.
Quote:
The 2020 Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to the World Food Programme on Friday morning with the award committee stating, "The need for international solidarity and multilateral cooperation is more conspicuous than ever."
The citation says the humanitarian organization, part of the United Nations, is being recognized "for its efforts to combat hunger, for its contribution to bettering conditions for peace in conflict-affected areas and for acting as a driving force in efforts to prevent the use of hunger as a weapon of war and conflict."
"Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. I can't believe it!" the WFP's executive director, David Beasley, said in a video to the organization and its staff following the announcement.
"It's because of the WFP family," Beasley said. "They're out there in the most difficult, complex places in the world. Whether it's war, conflict, climate extremes — it doesn't matter. They're out there, and they deserve this award."
The WFP was created in 1961 at the request of U.S. President Dwight Eisenhower as an experiment to provide food aid through the U.N. The group says it is active in 83 nations and that its staff "put their lives on the line every day to bring food and assistance to more than 100 million hungry children, women and men across the world."
End Quote.
The other interesting thing is that the WFP Executive Director (Beasley) happened to be visiting WFP projects in Niger, when he got the call, and he was photographed in the Country Director’s office in Niamey, which was my last office from 2007 to 2009.
Congratulations to all present and former WFP friends and colleagues! Well deserved!
Now, most of you are thinking, okay Jeff, stop congratulating yourself and get on with the jokes. Okay, okay.
Only In France
This happened in France to an Englishman who was totally drunk.
A French policeman stops the Englishman's car and asks if he has been drinking.
With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, that his daughter got married that morning, and that he drank champagne and a few bottles of wine at the reception, and many single malt scotches thereafter.
Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to breath test the Englishman and verifies that he is indeed completely hammered.
He asks the Englishman if he knows why, under French law, he is going to be arrested.
The Englishman answers with a bit of humour, "No sir, I do not! But while we're asking questions, do you realise that this is a British car and my wife is driving on the other side?
* * * * * * * *
This is a sad story of the depression that can haunt a man.
Marcel was sick and tired of the world; of Covid 19, Brexit, Russian belligerence, global warming, racial tensions, being a dumb ass liberal and the rest of the disturbing stories that occupy media headlines.
Marcel drove his car into his garage and then sealed every doorway and window as best he could. He got back into his car and wound down all the windows, selected his favorite radio station and started the car.
Four days later, a worried neighbor peered through his garage window and saw him in the car. She notified the emergency services and they broke in, pulling Marcel from the car. A little sip of water and, surprisingly, he was in perfect condition, but his Tesla had a dead battery.
* * * * * * * *
Some Things to Consider!!!
Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.—
Why did the man name his dogs Rolex and Timex? Because they were watch dogs.
You know, birds might use Facebook.? we know they already tweet so…
What’s the best way to watch a fly-fishing tournament? Live stream.
My wife asked me to sync her phone, so I threw it into the ocean.
How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? You will see one later and one in a while.
What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracabrador.
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
Police arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states: Solid, liquid, and gas.
I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today. Don’t worry, I’m not hurt. It was a soft drink.
Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”
Cooking out this weekend? Don’t forget the pickle. It’s kind of a big dill.
Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be justwater.
In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him. To be fair, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.
Why did the raisin go out with the prune? Because he couldn’t find a date.
I was addicted to hokey pokey…but I turned myself around.
We all know about Murphy’s Law: anything that can go wrong will go wrong. But have you heard of Cole’s Law? It’s thinly sliced cabbage.
My friend gave birth in her car on the way to the hospital and her husband named the kid Carson.
What starts with an “O” and ends with “nions” and sometimes make you cry? Opinions.
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
I sold my vacuum cleaner; it was just gathering dust.
What sound does a witch’s car make? Broom broom!
I don’t trust stairs. They are always up to something.
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I have a lot of friends named Nathan, there’s Nathan…(endless droning about nicknames). When they are together, do you call them The United Nathans?
Interesting fact of the day: In Sweden, all government-owned ships are required to have a UPC code printed on the hull. When the ships are returned to port, it helps them Scandinavian.
What’s the least spoken language in the world? Sign language.
What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi.
I searched for a lighter on Amazon, all I could find was 401 matches….
* * * * * * * *
Linda the Lawyer
Linda decided to tie the knot with her long-time boyfriend, Roy.
One evening, after the honeymoon, Linda was organizing her law books.
Her husband was standing nearby watching her.
After a long period of silence, he finally speaks: "Linda, I've been thinking, now that we're married maybe it's time you quit lawyering. You spend so much time in the courtroom. You could probably get a good price for your books."
Linda gets this horrified look on her face.
Roy says, "Darling, what's wrong?"
"For a minute there you were beginning to sound like my ex-husband."
"Ex-husband!" he shouts, chagrined. "I didn't know you were married before!!"
"I wasn't."
* * * * * * * *
May John Rest in Peace
John passed away. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral.
As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend.
"Well, I'm sure John would be pleased," she said.
"I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.
"How much did this really cost?"
"All of it," said Helen. "Thirty thousand."
"No!" Jody exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"
Helen answered. "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church. The wake, food and drinks were another $500. The rest went for the memorial stone."
Jody computed quickly. "$22,500 for a memorial stone? My God, how big is it?!"
"Two and a half carats."
* * * * * * * *
The Donkey
Trump decides to tour in the countryside in his chauffeur-driven limo before attending his fund-raiser/rally. Unexpectedly (how else) a donkey jumps out onto the road, and they hit it full on, and the car comes to a stop.
Trump says to the chauffeur: '’You get out and check, you were driving.'’ The chauffeur does, then checks and reports that the animal is dead. “You were driving, therefore you're responsible - not me - go find the farmer and tell him” says Trump.
Hours later, the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled with a big grin on his face. “My God man, what happened to you?” asks Trump.
The chauffeur replies: “When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of whiskey, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter took me upstairs and made love to me.”
“What on earth did you say to them?” asks Trump.
"Well, sir, I knocked on the door, and when it was answered, I said to them, "I'm President Trump's chauffeur and I've just killed the jackass."
* * * * * * * *
It’s time for the TGIF Golden Classic and with the recognition given to WFP this past week, what else could I use but the following golden oldie:
Butch the Rooster
Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so she could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now, she could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
Sarah's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen but, this morning she noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! When she went to investigate, she saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
To Sarah's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one.
Sarah was so proud of old Butch, she entered him in a Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Peace Prize" they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.
Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?
* * * * * * * *
Only a few more weeks til November 3rd. It can’t come soon enough. Seems Biden has taken a lead in the poles by 11% (54-43). But we know to be wary of polls.
I’m turning in my ballot today.
Happy World Food Day to one and all!
Have a nice weekend. I’ll be celebrating a big birthday that ends in a zero on Sunday. Ouch!
Until the next time, stay well and take care!
TGI-Jeff
