Greetings from your TGIF editor at the end of another week. It’s once again been unseasonably warm this past week. I tried to ski on Wednesday this week, but there were puddles and slush and protruding rocks and bare spots. So, I guess that season is quickly coming to an end. In fact, the temperature reached 75 here on Wednesday afternoon. I went out and picked up a whole bunch of branches that had fallen on the snow and ice of my lawn since December. Most of that snow became ice and I could have skated on my lawn last week. A lot of that has disappeared in the last few days.
I totally spaced out last Friday in forgetting to congratulate the great State of Vermont on its 225th birthday last Friday, the 4th of March. We were the first state admitted to the Union after the original 13 “colonial” states, and that was on the 4th of March, 1791. Bernie was just a young lad back then!
And speaking of our Bernie, he surprised Hilary by winning the primary in Michigan this week. So, it’s not over yet. And on the Republican side it is a total mess. Trump keeps winning but the core Republicans seem to want anyone but him. Mitt Romney came out this last week to blast Trump and others are ganging up on him. But Cruz is the only one who has won a primary other than Trump. Rubio needs to win Florida and get some momentum; otherwise he may drop out soon too. Ohio’s Governor Kasich seems to be the only traditional politician and nice guy but still is far behind. Hope he wins Ohio. Being a democrat, I look forward to a chaotic Republican Party National Convention in Cleveland. If there ever was a city in the U.S. that is associated with losers, it’s Cleveland. Not even Lebron James (NBA basketball star) can seem to bring Cleveland a winner and he may be thinking of leaving it for a second time!
I’m heading south for a few weeks to visit friends, play golf and be a tourist in a few old cities of the South. So, I’ll take a break from this hobby for a while and hope that the break gives you all the opportunity to send me some useable material. I’ve pretty much run out of stuff!
Just want to wish my good friend Peter MacGillvray a rapid recovery from his triple bypass surgery this week. Look forward to riding with you this summer! Gotta get ready for the P-2-P bike ride in August.
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When Mahatma Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, a professor by the name of Peters disliked him intensely and always displayed animosity towards him. And because Gandhi never lowered his head when addressing him, as he expected, there were always "arguments" and confrontations.
One day Mr Peters was having lunch at the University dining room when Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to him. The professor said, "Mr Gandhi, you do not understand. A pig and a bird do not sit together to eat. "Gandhi looked at him as a parent would a rude child and calmly replied, "You do not worry, professor. I'll fly away," and he went and sat at another table.
Peters, red with rage, decided to take revenge on the next test paper, but Gandhi responded brilliantly to all questions.
Unhappy and frustrated, Mr Peters asked him the following question: "Mr Gandhi, if you were walking down the street and found a package, and within was a bag of wisdom and another bag with a lot of money, which one would you take?"
Without hesitating, Gandhi responded, "The one with the money, of course." Mr Peters, smiling sarcastically, said, "I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom." Gandhi shrugged indifferently and responded, "Each one takes what he doesn't have."
Mr Peters, by this time, was fit to be tied. So great was his anger that he wrote on Gandhi's exam sheet the word "idiot" and handed it back to him.
Gandhi took the exam sheet and sat down at his desk, trying hard to remain calm while he contemplated his next move. A few minutes later, Gandhi got up, went to the professor and said to him in a dignified but sarcastically polite tone, "Mr Peters, you autographed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade."
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Harry & Bess Truman
Harry Truman was a different kind of President. He probably made as many, or more important decisions regarding our nation's history as any of the other 42 Presidents preceding him. However, a measure of his greatness may rest on what he did after he left the White House.
The only asset he had when he died was the house he lived in, which was in Independence Missouri. His wife had inherited the house from her mother and father and other than their years in the White House, they lived their entire lives there.
When he retired from office in 1952 his income was a U.S. Army pension reported to have been $13,507.72 a year. Congress, noting that he was paying for his stamps and personally licking them, granted him an 'allowance' and, later, a retroactive pension of $25,000 per year.
After President Eisenhower was inaugurated, Harry and Bess drove home to Missouri by themselves. There was no Secret Service following them.
When offered corporate positions at large salaries, he declined, stating, "You don't want me. You want the office of the President, and that doesn't belong to me. It belongs to the American people and it's not for sale."
Even later, on May 6, 1971, when Congress was preparing to award him the Medal of Honor on his 87th birthday, he refused to accept it, writing, "I don't consider that I have done anything which should be the reason for any award, Congressional or otherwise."
As president he paid for all of his own travel expenses and food.
Modern politicians have found a new level of success in cashing in on the Presidency, resulting in untold wealth. Today, many in Congress also have found a way to become quite wealthy while enjoying the fruits of their offices. Political offices are now for sale.
Good old Harry Truman was correct when he observed, "My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!
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Natural Born Citizens
Purdue University: Natural Born Citizens
Those of you who worry about Democrats versus Republicans -- relax, here is our real problem.
In a Purdue University classroom, they were discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States. It was pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age.
However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair it was of the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president. The class was taking it in and letting her rant, and not many jaws hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating, "What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?"
Yep, these are the same kinds of 18-year-olds that are now voting in our elections! They breed, and they walk among US. Lord, we need more help than we thought we did!
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From the logs of a Kansas State Highway Patrol Officer.
I made a traffic stop on an elderly lady the other day for speeding on U.S. 166 Eastbound at Mile Marker 73, east of Sedan, KS.
I asked for her driver's license, registration and proof of insurance. The lady took out the documents and handed them to me. In with the cards I was somewhat surprised (due to her advanced age) to see she had a conceal carry permit.
I looked at her and asked if she had a weapon in her possession at this time.
She responded that she indeed did have a .45 automatic in her glove box.
Something, body language, or the way she said it made me want to ask if she had any other firearms.
She did admit to also having a 9mm Glock in her center console.
Now I had to ask one more time if that was all. She responded once again that she did have just one more, a .357 magnum snub-nose in her purse.
I then asked her what was she so afraid of?
She looked me right in the eye and said, "Not a f***ing thing!!!"
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Which Newspaper Do You Read?
A guide to keeping the political news as reported by our newspapers in perspective…
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a poor job of it, thank you very much.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The Chicago Tribune is read by people that are in prison that used to run the state, & would like to do so again, as would their constituents that are currently free on bail.
10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.
11. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are gay, handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.
12. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
13. The Seattle Times is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.
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Another senior about my age asked me if they should join FaceBook. This is what I told him.
When I bought my iPhone, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter.
I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way.
I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space. That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twitterific, Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting World.
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone within 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying and rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship....
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and, while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady; at least she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions, checking bathrooms, and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.
The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them with me.
Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or plastic?" I just say, "It doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do fart a lot."
We senior citizens don't need any more gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle.
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But it gets more complicated when you have 2 or 3 remotes for the TV, DVR and CD player!!!
I can’t stop laughing about the “bi-sacksual”!!!
Hope you all can find some substitute for my Friday TGIF message for the next few weeks to get you in the mood for the upcomimg spring weekends. In fact, here in the USA we will be turning our clocks forward early Sunday morning (this weekend) as we remember that by “Spring forward – Fall back” and so, we’ll lose an hour of sleep but have an hour more of light at the end of the day, starting Sunday. Summer must be on its way! Hooray!
Have a nice March!
TGI-Jeff
