Greetings from your Friday guy! It’s the last working day of the week – at least in most parts of the world. So, I’m sure you are thankful for that! TGIF!
It’s been another busy week for me until Thursday. On Thursday, I had no meetings, no commitments, no working at the brewery, no tennis and no pressing bills to pay or things to do. So, I lounged around all day and started looking for material to use in my Friday message. I was intrigued by the number of anniversaries that were being celebrated this past week. The first one was 500 years ago.
Five Hundred Years Ago - Martin Luther
Eric Metaxas, author of a just published biography of Martin Luther offers a Reformation Day meditation on what that Augustinian monk loosed upon the world 500 years ago on October 31st of last week : “He did not intend to be defiant or to cause trouble. And he certainly did not plan to shake the foundations of the church he loved and obediently served. … The powerful ideas Luther's writings conveyed would in time lead to virtually everything we now take for granted in the modern world. … In the coming centuries, this attitude would help elevate the concepts of religious pluralism, tolerance, democracy and freedom. … But by humbly raising the questions he had in 1517, and then by responding to the attacks that followed as truthfully and carefully as he could, Luther ended up cracking the great edifice of medieval Christendom in twain. And for good and for ill both, out of that opening the future itself seemed to fly.”
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So, we started with 500 years ago. Now let’s jump ahead from then another 400 years and we get to 1917. It was a hundred years ago that the Russian revolution took place this past week, also.
And it was 50 years ago that my family moved to Springfield, Vermont, where I reside now and am drafting this message from (as if you didn’t know that by now!!!). I’m no longer down in the cellar dungeon, but up here in the “sunroom/gathering room” with lots of windows on 3 sides facing out on my side yard and back hill. Most of the leaves are off the trees (except those stingy Beech tree leaves) and the strong winds are blowing them all over the place. We had very strong winds last Sunday that caused a lot of downed trees and power outages. About 80,000 households lost power in Vermont and some are still waiting for it to be reconnected.
Meanwhile, I heard on the radio this week that the group in England that each year selects the word or phrase of the year has selected for this year: “Fake News”. Makes sense to me. Except that maybe that story came from a Facebook site that was funded and supported by an anonymous group based in Russia……
Maybe this story should be investigated.
The interesting thing is that all the media that I respect and enjoy watching or listening to is classified by our president as “Fake News” stations.
Let’s hope we can keep our First Amendment in tact over the next several years.
Halloween – Trick or Treat
This past Tuesday evening (Oct. 31st) was also our Halloween. That’s when kids dress up in all sorts of Halloween costumes (from cute to scary) and go walking house to house to collect treats (candy). Many of the kids who visited my house this year carried these plastic pumpkin buckets into which I dropped candy. But, until reading the story below, I didn’t realize that those buckets could be dangerous.
The Dangers of Going for that last Almond Joy
“A deer that got its head trapped in an orange plastic pumpkin bucket is free after residents in suburban Cincinnati spent the weekend tracking it. WCPO-TV reports the Anderson Township Family Pet Center got calls over four days from residents concerned about the deer with the bucket stuck over its nose. Daryl Meyerrenke at the pet center warned that it would be dangerous for neighbors to try to rescue the deer, but he says they were determined to help the animal and spent hours following it through wooded areas. Eventually, the group, using animal catch poles, was able to encircle the deer, and Meyerrenke’s son freed it from the bucket. Meyerrenke says the animal immediately went to graze and drink water at a creek.”
I guess you could say that that deer got tricked, instead of getting some treats!
Speaking of deer, as I was driving into my driveway last evening, returning from shopping at our Co-op, about 6:30 p.m. and just dark, there was a deer grazing in my front yard. She didn’t seem to be too bothered by my arrival and just sauntered away around the house and up the back hill.
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My Personal Travelogue
I have been in many places, but I’ve never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can’t go there alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.
I’ve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.
I have, however, been in Sane. They don’t have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.
I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I’m not too much on physical activity anymore.
I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.
I’ve been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.
Sometimes I’m in Capable, and I go there more often as I get older.
One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age, I need all the stimuli I can get!
And sometimes I think I am in Vincible, but LIFE shows me that I am not.
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Ten Things You Never Hear in Church
1. Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew.
2. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went twenty-five minutes over time.
3. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
4. I’ve decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
5. I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
6. Forget the denominational minimum salary, let’s pay our pastor so he can live like we do.
7. I love it when we sing hymns I’ve never heard before!
8. Since we’re all here, let’s start the service early.
9. Pastor, we’d like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.
10. Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!
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Mom’s Driver’s License
A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date.
"Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?”
"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age." the mother replied. "It's not polite.”
"Okay." the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?”
The mother says, "Now really, those are personal questions and are none of your business.”
Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?”
"That's enough questions, young lady! Honestly!”
The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
"My Mom won't tell me anything about her." the little girl says to her friend.
"Well," says the friend, "all you need to do is look at her driver's license. It's like a report card, it has everything on it.”
Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are. You are 32.”
The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?”
"I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.”
The mother is past surprised and shocked now. "How in Heaven's name did you find that out?”
"And," the little girl says triumphantly, "I know why you and Daddy got a divorce.”
"Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?”
"Because you got an 'F' in sex."
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Some More Things to Ponder
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.
When people see a cat's litter box they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, "An ambulance.'
The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble..
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words ' The' and ' IRS ' together it spells 'Theirs...'
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me. I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable.
Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.
May you always have Love to Share, Cash to Spare, And Friends who Care.
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Who Am I???
One Monday morning, a postman was walking through a neighborhood on his usual route delivering the mail. As he approached one of the homes, he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway.
His curiosity was cut short by Craig, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer, wine and spirit bottles for the recycling bin.
“Wow Craig, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,” the postman commented.
Craig, in obvious pain, replied: “Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first time I have felt like moving since 4 am Sunday morning.
His curiosity was cut short by Craig, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer, wine and spirit bottles for the recycling bin.
“Wow Craig, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,” the postman commented.
Craig, in obvious pain, replied: “Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first time I have felt like moving since 4 am Sunday morning.
We had about 15 couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. We all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I?”
The postman thought for a moment and said: “How do you play WHO AM I?”
“Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and come out one at a time covered with a sheet with only the 'family jewels' showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is.”
The postman laughed and said, “Sounds like fun. I'm sorry I missed it.”
“PROBABLY A GOOD THING YOU DID,” Craig responded. “YOUR NAME CAME UP SEVEN TIMES.”
“PROBABLY A GOOD THING YOU DID,” Craig responded. “YOUR NAME CAME UP SEVEN TIMES.”
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During these troubled political times where our country is so divided between the right and the left, it is important to understand just what politics consists of.
In fact, it must be very confusing for our little ones to understand what is going on.
What Are Politics?
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What are Politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
#1. I'm the head of the family, so call me The President.
#2. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
#3. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People.
#4. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class.
#5. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future.
"Now, think about that and see if it makes sense." So, the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what his Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So, the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks in the peephole and finds his father in bed with the Nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
#1. I'm the head of the family, so call me The President.
#2. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
#3. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People.
#4. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class.
#5. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future.
"Now, think about that and see if it makes sense." So, the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what his Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So, the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks in the peephole and finds his father in bed with the Nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit".
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I’m concerned about the Future and hope it’s not as bad as the above story might imply.
However, the new tax bill overhaul just might result in the President screwing the Working Class.
Enough politics for now. It’s a subject that most of us who wish to remain friends now avoid indulging in.
Time to wish you all a fun Friday and a wonderful weekend! If you are in the U.S. don’t forget to move your clocks back before going to bed on Saturday night. I think that means that we get an extra hour of sleep! Yeah!
Until the next time, take care!
TGI-Jeff
