Greetings from what is still a bit chilly, Vermont. You know, that state where someone once said that it has 11 months of winter and one month of really bad sledding! That is a variation on the state with “8 months of bad weather and 4 months of road construction”, where some of you others live. Having lived in humid-tropical or very hot and dry countries during my WFP career, I never really got to witness the change of seasons like I can now here in Vermont. And each Spring, I’m amazed as I see the reborn plants coming out of the ground! It’s magical! I appreciate more and more the mysteries and wonder of Mother Nature! I only wish that some of our government officials felt the same. We may end up using up our planet before we get all this sorted out. And the current administration seems to have no interest in protecting the environment – only allowing business and industry to exploit it. Sad. Enough said.
Each day I hear some more northward-bound geese flying overhead. Nice sight! And sounds. The other day I even saw a bald eagle fly over my house. One or two have been nesting in recent years near the dam which is not far away. We also have some hawks in the neighborhood now. And a few weeks ago, I had an early evening visitor to my backyard on 5 or 6 consecutive days of a raccoon. I’ve also had some wild turkeys walk through and a red fox. I haven’t yet seen a skunk – but I’m not holding my breath – or sense of smell for that!
My oldest son (Jonathan) is coming up from Brooklyn for this weekend and I’m looking forward to that. It is also Mother’s Day on Sunday here in the USA and so I tip my hat to all of you hard-working moms who manage to juggle so many balls in the air at the same time.
Since I last wrote, daughter Joya and husband Christopher have moved into their new house in DC, about a mile or so north of where they were before. And Chris’s parents were there last week to help build a deck and plant some plants in the yard, and more.
And now, I can’t leave out Phil, who is back in San Diego and doing several jobs as well as growing a vegetable garden in his back yard! Well done!
This Sunday I am leading our service in the UU church on growing old and how to deal with it. Really, we have no choice - do we!?! One of the quotes I am using is this: “we need less publicity on how to stay young and more information on how to grow old”!
Time to see if you all have contributed anything useful to use this week. If not, I’ll just wish you all a pleasant weekend!
SIX LITTLE STORIES
1. Once all villagers decided to pray for rain.
On the day of prayer all the people gathered, but only one boy came with an umbrella.
That's FAITH.
2. When you throw babies in the air, they laugh because they know you will catch them.
That's TRUST.
3. Every night we go to bed without any assurance of being alive the next morning, but still we set the alarms to wake up.
That's HOPE.
4. We plan big things for tomorrow in spite of zero knowledge of the future.
That's CONFIDENCE.
5. We see the world suffering, but still we get married and have children.
That's LOVE.
6. On an old man's shirt was written a sentence : 'I am not 80 years old;
I am sweet 16 with 64 years of experience.'
That's ATTITUDE.
Have a happy day and live your life like the six stories.
When I was a child, I thought naptime was punishment. Now it's like a mini-vacation.
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"GOOD FRIENDS ARE THE RARE JEWELS OF LIFE...
DIFFICULT TO FIND AND IMPOSSIBLE TO REPLACE ...............
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The Cynical Philosopher
♦ I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?
♦ Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
♦ I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
♦ I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
♦ When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
♦ A recent study has found that woman who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.
♦ Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
♦ America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.
♦ You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.
♦ Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
♦ My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
♦ I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
♦ Money talks ... but all mine ever says is good-bye.
♦ You're not fat, you're just ..... easier to see.
♦ If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
♦ I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”
♦ I can’t understand why women are okay that JC Penny has an older women’s clothing line named, “ Sag Harbor.”
♦ My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.
♦ My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.
♦ Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.”
BUT, If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!
♦ The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.
♦The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
♦ I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.
♦ Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!
♦ The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.
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FACEBOOK FOR SENIORS - A SENIORS PERSPECTIVE OF FACEBOOK
For those of my generation who do not, and cannot, comprehend why Facebook exists:
I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles. Therefore, every day I walk down the street and tell passersby what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I have done the night before, what I will do later and with whom.
I give them pictures of my family, my dog, of me gardening, taking things apart in the garage, watering the lawn, standing in front of landmarks, driving around town, having lunch, and doing what anybody and everybody does every day. I also listen to their conversations, give them the 'thumbs up' and tell them I like them. And it works just like Facebook.
I already have four people following me: two police officers, a private investigator and a psychiatrist!
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Another Sign of the Times
And in somewhat of the same vane:
We had a power outage at our house this morning and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad & my new surround sound music system were all shut down.
Then I discovered that my mobile phone battery was dead and, to top it off, it was raining outside, so I couldn't play golf.
I went into the kitchen to make coffee and then I remembered that this also needs power, so I sat and talked with my wife for a couple of hours.
She seems like a nice person.
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The Everlovin’ Truth!
BEAUTY PARLOR
A place where women curl up and dye.
CHICKENS
The only animal you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
HANDKERCHIEF
Cold Storage.
INFLATION
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO
An insect that makes you like flies better.
POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority.
RAISIN
A grape with a sunburn.
SECRET
A story you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE
The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN
An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES
Something other people have....similar to my character lines.
OLD
I very quietly confided to my friend that I was having an Affair.
She turned to me and asked, "Are you having it catered?"
. . . and that, my friend, is the definition of 'OLD'!!!
In youth, the days are short and the years are long.
In old age, the years are short and days long
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Confused
I became confused when I heard the word "Service" used with these agencies:
Internal Revenue 'Service'
U.S. Postal 'Service'
Telephone 'Service'
Cable / TV 'Service'
Civil 'Service'
City, County & State Public 'Service'
Customer 'Service'
This is not what I thought 'Service' meant.
But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to 'Service' a few cows.
BAM!!! It all came into focus.
Now I understand what all those agencies are doing.
I hope that you are now just as enlightened as I am.
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Coffee with Jesus
A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress nodded "yes! So, the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.
The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus, over there?"
The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."
The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey! How's about getting me a cold mug of Miller Light!
He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there?
The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer. "On my bill," he said loudly so everyone in the restaurant could hear.
As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up and began to praise the Lord. Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up, he raised his hands and he, too, began to praise the Lord.
Then, Jesus walked, with a huge smile on his face, towards the Democrat. The Democrat jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me....... I'm on disability."
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It’s been a few weeks since I issued one of these Friday messages. And in those 2 or 3 weeks I have only received material from four of you! Four! That means that about 600 of you are coasting and NOT paying your TGIF dues! Shame – shame! You’ll have to do better or this will be shut down!
In any case, do have a nice Friday and a great weekend! I look forward to mine even if it is supposed to rain.
TGI-Jeff
