Greetings from your TGIF editor on this last Friday of the week. And it is a Good Friday indeed; especially since most of you are not at work today. So, it doesn’t really matter when you see this. Besides, like me, many of you are already retired and don’t punch the clock and probably can’t even remember what day of the week it is, anyway. Right?
For many of you in the northern hemisphere, you are now experiencing Spring. We are still waiting here in Vermont. I still have some snow on my yard in the shady spots, although we have had warmer temperatures this last week. I did ski on Monday, but it was 50 degrees and climbing and the snow got soft and slushy and tired us out after 4 or 5 runs and so that was it. The ski area will close this weekend, on Easter Sunday.
But I don’t think our golf course is yet ready. I’m sure that they also still have some snow on parts of it. I hope the greens have made it through the winter without damage.
I hope to get my road bike out of the barn today and get it ready for some serious work these next 6 months. It’ll be nice to be out on the road now instead of doing my workouts in the gym. I will be attempting to lose about 30 pounds between now and the end of summer. Wish me luck!
So, what is the biggest news event of this week? The war in Syria? The US secretary of state meeting Putin in Moscow? That Sergio Garcia finally won a ‘Major’ golf tournament (in his 73rd try) – the Masters? NO. It was that United Airlines dragged off of one of their overbooked flights a screaming passenger when no one would accept UA’s attempts at offering deals to someone to make room for some United staff on a flight. The video of this fiasco went truly viral, showing an Asian man with a bloodied nose and face. UA did a poor job of damage control. In fact, it seems coincidentally that same day they had launched a new UA app that featured a “drag and drop” feature. Little did anyone realize that they were referring to how they treat their passengers. Some have said that United now offers not only a red-eye flight, but a black-eye one as well. I also saw a Southwest Airlines comment on this episode which stated: “we beat our competitors – not our passengers”. Oh, the power today of social media!!!
I have known for years that Easter is the first Sunday after the first full moon after the vernal equinox. And we had a full moon earlier in this week. But the following educational piece provides some other interesting information about Easter.
Why Easter Is Called Easter, and Other Little-Known Facts About the Holiday
By Brent Landau
April 13, 2017
This Sunday, April 16, Christians will be celebrating Easter, the day on which the resurrection of Jesus is said to have taken place. The date of celebration changes from year to year.
The reason for this variation is that Easter always falls on the first Sunday after the first full moon following the spring equinox. So, in 2018, Easter will be celebrated on April 1, and on April 21 in 2019.
I am a religious studies scholar specializing in early Christianity, and my research shows that this dating of Easter goes back to the complicated origins of this holiday and how it has evolved over the centuries.
Easter is quite similar to other major holidays like Christmas and Halloween, which have evolved over the last 200 years or so. In all of these holidays, Christian and non-Christian (pagan) elements have continued to blend together.
Easter as a rite of spring
Most major holidays have some connection to the changing of seasons. This is especially obvious in the case of Christmas. The New Testament gives no information about what time of year Jesus was born. Many scholars believe, however, that the main reason Jesus’ birth came to be celebrated on December 25 is because that was the date of the winter solstice according to the Roman calendar.
Since the days following the winter solstice gradually become longer and less dark, it was ideal symbolism for the birth of “the light of the world” as stated in the New Testament’s Gospel of John.
Similar was the case with Easter, which falls in close proximity to another key point in the solar year: the vernal equinox (around March 20), when there are equal periods of light and darkness. For those in northern latitudes, the coming of spring is often met with excitement, as it means an end to the cold days of winter.
Spring also means the coming back to life of plants and trees that have been dormant for winter, as well as the birth of new life in the animal world. Given the symbolism of new life and rebirth, it was only natural to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus at this time of the year.
The naming of the celebration as “Easter” seems to go back to the name of a pre-Christian goddess in England, Eostre, who was celebrated at beginning of spring. The only reference to this goddess comes from the writings of the Venerable Bede, a British monk who lived in the late seventh and early eighth century. As religious studies scholar Bruce Forbes summarizes:
“Bede wrote that the month in which English Christians were celebrating the resurrection of Jesus had been called Eosturmonath in Old English, referring to a goddess named Eostre. And even though Christians had begun affirming the Christian meaning of the celebration, they continued to use the name of the goddess to designate the season.”
Bede was so influential for later Christians that the name stuck, and hence Easter remains the name by which the English, Germans and Americans refer to the festival of Jesus’ resurrection.
The connection with Jewish Passover
It is important to point out that while the name “Easter” is used in the English-speaking world, many more cultures refer to it by terms best translated as “Passover” (for instance, “Pascha” in Greek) – a reference, indeed, to the Jewish festival of Passover.
In the Hebrew Bible, Passover is a festival that commemorates the liberation of the Jewish people from slavery in Egypt, as narrated in the Book of Exodus. It was and continues to be the most important Jewish seasonal festival, celebrated on the first full moon after the vernal equinox.
At the time of Jesus, Passover had special significance, as the Jewish people were again under the dominance of foreign powers (namely, the Romans). Jewish pilgrims streamed into Jerusalem every year in the hope that God’s chosen people (as they believed themselves to be) would soon be liberated once more.
On one Passover, Jesus traveled to Jerusalem with his disciples to celebrate the festival. He entered Jerusalem in a triumphal procession and created a disturbance in the Jerusalem Temple. It seems that both of these actions attracted the attention of the Romans, and that as a result Jesus was executed around the year A.D. 30.
Some of Jesus’ followers, however, believed that they saw him aliveafter his death, experiences that gave birth to the Christian religion. As Jesus died during the Passover festival and his followers believed he was resurrected from the dead three days later, it was logical to commemorate these events in close proximity.
Some early Christians chose to celebrate the resurrection of Christ on the same date as the Jewish Passover, which fell around day 14 of the month of Nisan, in March or April. These Christians were known as Quartodecimans (the name means “Fourteeners”).
By choosing this date, they put the focus on when Jesus died and also emphasized continuity with the Judaism out of which Christianity emerged. Some others instead preferred to hold the festival on a Sunday, since that was when Jesus’ tomb was believed to have been found.
In A.D. 325, the Emperor Constantine, who favored Christianity, convened a meeting of Christian leaders to resolve important disputes at the Council of Nicaea. The most fateful of its decisions was about the status of Christ, whom the council recognized as “fully human and fully divine.” This council also resolved that Easter should be fixed on a Sunday, not on day 14 of Nisan. As a result, Easter is now celebrated on the first Sunday after the first full moon of the vernal equinox.
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So, there is your history lesson for this week. For all of you who celebrate this two thousand year-old holiday, Happy Easter!
Now, let’s move on to some humor, hopefully.
What is True Love?
A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with their husbands.
The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?" All the women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?” Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember.
The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband - "I love you, Sweetheart."
Next the women were instructed to exchange phones with one another and read aloud the text message that they received in response to their message.
Below are 11 hilarious replies. If you have been married for quite a while, you will understand that these replies are a sign of true love. Who else would reply in such a succinct and honest way?
01. Who the hell is this?
02. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?
03. Yeah, and I love you too. What's wrong?
04. What now? Did you wreck the car again?
05. I don't understand what you mean?
06. What the hell did you do now?
07. Don't beat around the bush; just tell me how much you need?
08. Am I dreaming?
09. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
10 . I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day.
11. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't she?
Kinda tugs at the heart, doesn't it?
* * * * * * * *
And now here is a true story about one of these husbands.
A Case of the Missing Wife
Husband:
My wife is missing.
She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!
Sheriff: Height?
Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
Sheriff: Weight?
Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.
Sheriff: Color of eyes?
Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.
Sheriff: Color of hair?
Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.
Sheriff: What was she wearing?
Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.
Sheriff: What kind of car did she go in?
Husband: She went in my truck.
Sheriff: What kind of truck was it?
Husband: A 2016 pearl white Ram Limited 4X4 with 6.4l Hemi V8 engine ordered with the Ram Box bar and fridge option, led lighting, back up and front camera, Moose hide leather heated and cooled seats, climate controlled air conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, Weather Tech floor mats. Trailing package with gold hitch, sunroof, DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio, Cobra 75 WX ST 40-channel CB radio, six cup holders, 3 USB port, and 4 power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Toyo tires. It has custom retracting running boards and under-glow wheel well lighting.
At this point the husband started choking up.
Sheriff: Take it easy sir, we'll find your truck!
* * * * * * * *
It seems we have a theme this week of “husbands and wives”. Here’s some more.
Marriage Humour
Wife: 'What are you doing?’
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: 'Nothing . . . ? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.’
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.’
* * *
Choice at dinner
Wife: 'Do you want dinner?’
Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?’
Wife: 'Yes or no.’
* * *
Stress Reliever
Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.’
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.’
Girl: ‘Well, that's because we aren't married yet.’
* * *
The Doubt Removed
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?’
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!’
* * *
The Attraction
A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?’
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humour!’
* * *
Husbands are Husbands
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied, 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Betty on it that I found in your trouser pocket.’
The man then said 'When I was at the races last week, Betty was the name of the horse I bet on.’
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit him again.
Wife replied, 'Your horse phoned!’
* * * * * * * *
Larry the Fighter Pilot
A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Little Larry says: "I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."
The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Larry, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson.
"And how about you, Sarah?"
"I wanna be Larry's whore".
* * * * * * * *
Well, indeed, if Larry and Sarah did eventually hook up, then this whole TGIF edition would have been about husbands and wives. And a little info on Easter, to boot.
I wish you all a wonderful weekend and for many of you, a Happy Easter!
Let’s hope that the warm weather continues and we can experience a nice Spring here before transitioning into a hot summer.
Until the next time, be well, do good work and keep in touch!
TGI-Jeff
