Greetings from your Vermont friend on this GroundHog Day 2024. I do know that this is the midpoint between our winter solstice and the spring equinox, but I can never remember what happens if Punxsutawney Phil (the Pennsylvania ground hog) sees or doesn’t see his shadow. Something like 6 more weeks of winter or more. All I know is that up here in Vermont, it does NOT apply as we are still at least 9 or 10 weeks away from seeing our last snowfall and about that long until mud season begins. After mud season (of about 2-3 weeks when the ground is thawing and non-paved roads turn to mud with ruts in them) we’ll have spring for a few short weeks, and then it's summer.
My philosophy is that if you are going to live here, you have to find a nice way to spend each season. Now it is skiing and snow-shoeing. And enjoying a nice fire in the evening in our fireplace. During mud season it’s a good time to clean the house and do a lot of reading, or doing jigsaw puzzles. Dianne and I have put together about 50 of those since the outset of Covid.
I did ski with my friend Frank on Tuesday, but it was very foggy on the mountain. We were trying to figure out why that was. I thought it might have something to do with the relationship between the dew point and relative humidity. Others on the lift thought that that might be it, but my friend Frank, who is always very frank with me, told me that I was probably full of s_ _ _! So, his homework was to find out why the fog. I bet he has already forgotten about that! So, if any of you are meteorologists, or know why, let me know. Then I’ll try to remember to tell Frank. Cuz we're both a little "foggy" at our age.
I was hoping to go skiing on Thursday, but it was very cloudy again, and the light tends to be very flat on the mountain in these conditions. I like to see where I’m going, so it’s a bit dangerous in these conditions. Dianne is on a short trip away and wanted me to let her know if I was going skiing, so that she could worry about me, if I did! Huh? Sheesh!
Another friend of mine sent me the following couple of contributions. I’ll start with those. Thanks Tom!
It was a lot easier to get older than to get wiser. It stunned and worried an old man whose 85 year old buddy announced his upcoming marriage to a twenty year old girl. "At your age, "he cautioned, "couldn't that be fatal?" His friend responded, "If she dies, she dies."
* * * *
Human Resource Manager: "What is your greatest weakness?"
Old Man "My honesty."
Human Resource Manager: "I don't think honesty is a weakness."
Old man: "I don't give a shit what you think."
* * * * * * * *
My oldest son, Jonathan, sent me the following. He played cricket when we lived in Pakistan, and also on a club team while at Middlebury College.
Ollie Pope scores 196 runs to help England recover from a 190-run deficit and win the first Test against India in Hyderabad.
Jannik Sinner makes a stunning recovery from two sets down in the Australian Open finals to beat Daniil Medvedev 3-6,3-6,6-4,6-4,63.
Moral of the story: No matter whether you are a Pope or a Sinner, everyone has a fighting chance, so give it your best!
* * * * * * * *
Catholic Dog
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for
company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest
and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying a mass for
the poor creature?'
Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not. We cannot have services for
an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane,
and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something
for the creature.'
Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is
enough to donate to them for the service?'
Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya
tell me the dog was Catholic?
* * * * * * * *
Donation
Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'
'It is!'
'This is the Taxation Department. Can you help us?'
'I'll try!'
'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'
'I do!'
'Is he a member of your congregation?'
'He is!'
'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'
'He will!'
* * * * * * * *
Pest Control
A woman was having a passionate affair with an Irish inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.
'Quick,' said the woman to the lover, 'into the closet!' and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.
The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet. 'Who are you?' he asked him.
'I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone,' said the exterminator.
'What are you doing in there?' the husband asked.
'I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths,' the man replied.
'And where are your clothes?' asked the husband.
The man looked down at himself and said, 'Those little bastards!
* * * * * * * * *
Are you as moral as you think you are?
This test only has one question, but it's a very important one.
By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.
The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Only you will know the results, so your answer needs to be honest.
THE SITUATION:
You are in Florida, Miami to be specific. There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water.
THE TEST:
Suddenly you see a man in the water He's fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer. Somehow the man looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is.
It's Donald Trump!
At the same time, you notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever.
YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS:
You can save the life of Donald Trump or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize-winning photo documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful Republican hell-bent on the destruction of America.
THE QUESTION:
Here's the question, and please give an honest answer.
Would you select high contrast colour film or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?
* * * * * * * *
For all of my friends who think that I only use old material over and over, here is a new one that I doubt that you have seen before.
True Story
This is a bit long, but well worth the read. If you still have your socks on when you reach the end, I’ll be surprised! It certainly knocked mine, off!
On March 23, 1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head.
Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide. He left a note to the effect indicating his despondency.
As he fell past the ninth floor his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly.
Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.
"Ordinarily,"_ Dr Mills continued, _"A person, who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended, is still defined as committing suicide."
That Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death, but probably would not have been successful because of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands.
In the room on the ninth floor, where the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun.
The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window striking Mr. Opus.
When one intends to kill subject "A" but kills subject "B" in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject "B".
When confronted with the murder charge the old man and his wife were both adamant and both said that they thought the shotgun was unloaded.
The old man said it was a long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, if the gun had been accidentally loaded.
The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident.
It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother.
Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn't actually pull the trigger.
The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.
Now comes the exquisite twist,
Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus.
He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten-story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window.
The son had actually murdered himself, so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.
A true story from Associated Press, Reported by Kurt Westervelt.
* * * * * * * *
Truth is stranger than fiction!
I can’t think of anyone who has a birthday now, but I think Pat and Kevin might be celebrating an anniversary. So, have a happy celebration! Their daughter, Jackie has been my daughter Joya’s best friend since 1996 and Jackie visited Joya and Chris in Cape Town last week for several days. Joya had decided earlier to celebrate her 40th birthday on her late Mom’s (Pam) birthday of January 27th. So, last Saturday all their friends gathered at Beerworks (their favorite little brewery where Joya and Chris have brewed some batches of beer and have lots of friends). I wish I could have been there! It looked (from photos and videos sent) that they had a lot of fun!
Well, time to wish you all a fantastic Friday and a wonderful weekend!
TGI-Jeff
